Withnail: Withnail: It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. We're incompatible. Web. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. [amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables] You got to throttle him. Prostitutes for the bees. No, I'd better go. Marwood: Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. The only thing you're in that I've been in is this fucking bath! I have a heart condition. It's got to warm up. This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! This doll is extremely dangerous. No! Marwood stands there, petrified]. Marwood: Jesus Christ! I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. Why can't I have an audition? "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . Withnail: I called him a ponce. We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! Withnail: I don't advise a haircut, man. Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. Withnail: Marwood: What on Earth are those? Marwood: Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! Find *anything*. How like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! Marwood: Withnail: 'He used to pick on me. Marwood: Nor women neither. *Aaaaarggghhhh*! I do. I'm gonna be a sta-a-a-a-ar! Withnail: Clearly a myth. This dreadful little Israelite. Oh no, we'd be sucked into his trap! [wakes up in the back seat of the car, which is moving along the motorway] [referring to the radish on Monty's lapel] It'll pass. Give me a downer, Danny. I hope you guys like our collection. I expect they're dead down the drain. We're coming back in here. Uncle Monty: Go with it. Withnail: Withnail: Give me a downer, Danny. Withnail: Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. How like a *god*! Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. [after a phone call with his agent] Irishman: We're in this cottage here. He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Why can't I have an audition? Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain]. Withnail: Marwood: They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! Withnail: You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. How infinite in faculties! We can't go on like this. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! [eyes filling with tears] . These pheasants are for my pot. I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Come on, old boy. Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. hide. Withnail: Balls! Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. Withnail: Hairs are your aerials. [while high on drugs] Marwood: [relieved] Monty! Withnail: Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity. What do you want? This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Dealt with them? Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Marwood: Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Danny: No, man. Danny: *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. It'll happen. Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? Sulking up the hill. Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Change down, man, find your neutral space. He can eat his fucking radish. No, his dog doesn't come up here. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Keep your bag up. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! Grab its ring. Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Beastly, ungrateful little swine! We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . [smiling] Marwood: This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. I must be out of my mind. It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! I think we'd better release you from the lgumes and transfer your talents to the meat. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. He's going into your room. Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . You lead him astray. You know what we should do? [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Withnail: You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? [cockily] Danny: If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. Have you been away? Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness! Oh, you little traitors. You need working on, boy! Time change. Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up. Monty: Here hare here! He says he wont come in for lunch without an apology. 1 comment. Withnail: Locations, see. Listen, you young prat. If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. Withnail: They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Hair are your aerials. Marwood: No you can't, listen to me, listen to me! Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! Withnail: Danny: We'll tell him they had a farmers' conference and had a run on them. Sherry? The beauty of the world. It'll happen. Well, lick 10 percent of the arses for me, then! Gi' me one in t' knee. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Hey, give us a wheeze on that fag. But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. Do you grow? Marwood: Shut that gate and keep it shut! Withnail: Withnail: When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Jake: Danny: Danny: Monty, Monty! Im in the same boat. Oh, how I tried not to. I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. No it doesn't. [overtaking a car on the motorway] By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. Withnail: Oh, bollocks to the Wellingtons. Speed, is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane Time change. I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. Marwood: They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. How dare you. Here, I dont want it. Marwood: Survey of rural types. We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Monty: (to the cat) you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. The fuel and wood situation. My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. Withnail: It can utilise up to 12 skins. He doesn't have any friends. Withnail: I think we've been in here too long. Be seated. Call Of Duty 4 Modern Warfare: War Quotes - YouTube www.youtube.com. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. You mustn't blame him. His sister give him the idea. Withnail: Soak up the booze. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie, ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck, Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood, Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce, Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid, he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Withnail: Scrubbers! What's going on? This pill's valued at two quid. [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] Withnail: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! I've only had a few ales. extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. This is ridiculous. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. I say, you know what we should do? How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! The fucking kettle's on fire! Will it? Flowers are essentially tarts. 2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it. Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! Cooking's one of the natural instincts. Balls! All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: Danny: Scrubbers! Marwood: I can never touch meat until it's cooked. [narrating over scene] I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. Marwood: Well, I don't know. Marwood: Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. [high-pitched voice] And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Why can't I get on television? [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. Me? Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. Get out of it for a while. No, no, you can't. Marwood: Marwood: Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. You're out of your mind! Right can anybody explain the here hare here joke from withnail and I? Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. Withnail: Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. The wankers on site don't drink it because they can't afford it! [voiceover] Marwood: You know what we should do? Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Marwood: So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. I really don't want you to. Headhunter to everyone. You just wait. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! I feel unusual. I've been to drama school. Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. You're looking very beautiful, man. And now I'm calling you one. Quotes.net. What goods the countryside? And we want them here, and we want them now! I don't care where you come from! It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! We worked out it would be very handy karma for him to get hold of a suit. You got a rush. What happened to my cigar commercial? I'm utterly arseholed. Withnail: Hold on, don't let your imagination run away with you Marwood: Imagination! Marwood: It's the only solution to this intense cold. Danny: We're in danger, we've got to get out. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford.